Update daw

I wanted to blog last Sunday's company outing held at All Hands beach resort in Subic and post some pics but I forgot that I saved our pics in my office PC.So tinamad na ko to write a blog about it.Besides nothing worth writing happened on that outing.I will post some of the pics here sometime.

When I was in Subic, I thought of dropping by sa gapo and probably meet some old friends but time was really limited.We were just there for a day.But I am keeping my fingers cross that before Xmas makadalaw man lang sa mga kaibigan ko na pagkatagal tagal ko ng hindi nakikita.I sent dang (my girl bestfriend in gapo)nga an SMS that I was in Subic a week ago.Sayang nga daw at hindi man lang kami nagkita.
---
Totally nawala na ang Internet access sa office pati Windows Messenger.Ang tanging website na naiwan ay ang wikipedia.com.mabuti na lang naiwan ito.This site is really informative.
---
Today is a monday and i am just stuck here at home doing nothing.I am actually on a vacation leave just for today.I cant go out dahil anglakas ng ulan so I just stayed at home, pig out ,listen to MP3s and watch DVDs.At siyempre matulog ng matulog.sana ganito na lang palagi ang buhay.
---
I was able to catch Philippine Idol last night.gayang gaya nga ang American idol.pati mga judges nagpapakatrying hard gayahin yung mga American judges.haha.Sana masubaybayan ko itong show na ito.
----
I have to end my blahs na at wala namang sense ang mga pinagsasabi ko.And before I forget, i changed my blog layout na.I hope you guys like it.

I must be really bored to do this

From Joms blog

I wish I was a different ethnicity.
I have an eating disorder.
I'm short.
I'm tall.
I think I'm really attractive.
I prefer winter over summer.
I'm a geek.
I'm a shopaholic.
I'm reasonably intelligent.
I'm attracted to girls.
I'm attracted to boys.
I like British accents.
I smoke regularly.
I drink regularly.
I smoke socially.
I drink socially.
I get drunk easily.
I do drugs.
I will never date a bad kisser.
I've lied to avoid kissing them again.
I brush my hair at least 50 times a night.
I'm religious.
I'm not religious but have morals.
I lie frequently.
I'm impulsive.
I'm hardworking.
I liked "Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind".
"She's All That" is one of my favourite movies.
I'm good at History.
I speak more than two languages.
I enjoy taking pictures.
I like spending money on myself.
I like spending money on others.
I have a regular income.
I earn money on a job-by-job basis.
I pay my own bills.
I rely on my parents for money.
I can cook.
I enjoy cleaning.
Tidyness is a must in my life.
I like clutter.
My idea of good music is Britney Spears.
I have heard of Blonde Redhead.
I enjoy Blonde Redhead.
I'm fashion-conscious.
I have good taste.
People tell me I have good taste.
I excel academically.
I'm told I have yet to fulfill my potential.
I'm good at sports.
I'm good at certain sports.
I couldn't do sports to save my life.
I'm creative.
I'm artistically inclined.
I wanna be an artist when I grow up.
I wanna be an engineer when I grow up.
I eat when I'm upset.
I cannot adapt to change.
I'm interested in politics.
I have shoplifted.
I download MP3s.
I've done underage drinking.
I've gone underage clubbing.
I can dance reasonably well.
I can dance extremely well.
I dance like a cardboard gorilla.
I can sing.
I sing like someone stepped on my foot.
I can swim.
I enjoy surveys.
I enjoy surveys when I'm bored.
I keep a journal.
My teachers don't like me.
I enjoy controversy. (as long as its not mine)
I can be a bitch/bastard.
I have a thing for bad boys/girls.
I have tattoos.
I've been in a nudist colony.
I'm not sure if I want to have children.
I'm not sure if I'll get married.
I know who I will marry.
I'm interesting.
I'm a good liar.
People enjoy talking to me.
I annoy people from time to time.
I'm a born leader.
I'm a born leader but shouldn't lead
.I enjoy felching.
I have a foot fetish.
I have a shoe fetish.
I watch "Sex and the City".
I don't think Sarah Jessica Parker is pretty.
I wanna be J.Lo.
I cut myself.
I've cut myself.
I hate people who pretend to be suicidal.
I hate popular people.
I think cheerleading is a sport.
I'm photogenic.
I live in Chucks.
I think graffiti is art.
I have dated a criminal.
I have been cheated on.
I have cheated on someone.
I have a temper.
I like playgrounds.
I dance in the rain.
I'm obsessed with Shakespeare.
I have tanlines.
My favourite color is pink.
My favourite color is black
.I would classify myself as emo.
I'm musically inclined.
I like listening to music.
I like music-blasting cars.
Thongs are comfortable.
I like flip-flops.
I know what monogamy is......and I believe in it.
I wanna be a social worker when I grow up.
I have sibling/s.
My sibling/s annoy me.
I think "South Park" is funny.
I believe in LOVE.


*text in blue are my answers

of blogging

Reading my old posts and looking back how my life had been made me realized that there were a lot of things happened in two years.Some were good and memorable, some were painful and sad but either way, they were all worth to be remembered.

I started the blog July of 2004, with no audience in mind, not even my closest friends know that I have an online journal.I was hesitated to start my own since having a blog will mean opening my life to the public eyes since everyone can have access on your site.That way I thought I have to do a self censorship and be careful of what to write.I found it useless since whats the use of having one if you won't have the freedom to say what you wanted to say?

But then, before I start writing, I promised myself that I am going to write not to impress anybody or seek approval to anyone about my writing.I will say what I wanted to say.This is my blog anyway.

I got my inspiration of having my own blog after visiting some blogsites which were linked to my friends blog.I read somewhere that anything worth writing about is worth sharing.I found myself fascinated how people chronicled their lives thru words.I was amazed by the fact that there were a lot of great bloggers and writers in the cyberspace.

So I started blogging.I blogged basically anything under the sun, I blog about my dysfunctional life, books that i read, movies and TV programs that I watch, my work, places i have been and people I meet.

I learned a lot from the writings of other people.Aside from peeking into their lives, I also learned to appreciate good writing.I always wanted to improve my writing, I know I am not good at this craft.I have a lot of grammar lapses everytime I attempted to write my article in English.I am not that confident so I write my articles in Taglish (tagalog and english).i am shy to link my site to others because I was afraid that they will scrutinize my writing.But then I realized that I will not grow as a writer if I wont take cristicisms from my readers.I wanted to improve myself and comments and criticisms would not hurt.So I gave out my link to some friends.Their reactions and comments were appreciated and motivate me to write interesting stories of my life.Its very uplifting is someone will tell you that they learned something from you.

My blog , like Joms', has been my spiritual blanket and I place where I can be myself.This is the place where I go to express my thoughts and feelings when I think that the world is not listening to my grievances, my rants , my problems.Although I know that I will be unable to expose my soul completely through this blog, but still the blog has been a theraphy, my sanctuary and a place where I can regain my sanity.

I am glad that I found a space where I can celebrate my life.

I wanted to blog more.

Happy 2nd Birthday to my blog

Today marks the 2nd year anniversary of my blog.

I am so glad that I was able to keep this blog space for two years.

To everyone who reads all the crap I write here.Thanks a lot!

really bored

some things you would not care about


10 FIRSTS

first best friend: Jerome reyes ( funny that i was talking about bestfriends on my previous post)
first screen name: hendrix
first pet name: poochie
first piercing: Left ear.
first crush: Rhea relopez
first school: asinan elem school (gapo)
first house location: Sta. Rita Gapo
first kiss: My Mom, or my Dad... first romantic kiss? secret... hehehe.
first car: I dont have a car....I will get one soon

9 LASTS

last time you smoked: I dont smoke sorry
last food you ate: Champorado with Tuyo yum yum
last car ride: today, cab.
last movie you watched:Mga Pusang gala(VCD)
last phone call: my sister
last CD you listened to: some jazz collection
last song you listened to: i forgot the title, but its a jologs tagalog song
last words you said: I said thank you for calling TXU energy hehe

8 HAVE-YOU-EVERS

dated a best friend: Yes.
been arrested: No.
been on TV: Yes.
eaten sushi: nah, i dont like Jap food, esp raw ones
cheated on your BF/GF: yes.
been on a blind date: Yes.
been out of the country: Nope.
been in love: Yes. Of Course...

7 THINGS YOU ARE WEARING

1. Clean white underwear
2. watch
3. A smile
4. an earing
5. stripe polo shirt
6. low rise jeans
7. a bracelet

6 THINGS YOU HAVE DONE TODAY

1. Went to my niece birthday paty
2. Browse photography sites
3. answered emails
4. read blogs
5. work work work
6. i went to Novaliches

5 FAVORITE THINGS

1. My cellphone
2. My old but dependable diskman
3. My PC at home
4. My newly bought 14" Sharp TV (i finally bought one)
5. Blogs

4 PEOPLE YOU TRUST THE MOST

1. Nanay
2. Ate liza
3. bes silgrid
4. karen/Mitch/ sarah

3 THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE

1.have a family
2.shoot a film/documentary
3. Travel the world

2 CHOICES

vanilla or chocolate: Chocolate.
hugs or kisses: kisses.

1 PERSON YOU WANT TO SEE RIGHT NOW?

anyone, most esp those i havent seen for a long long time....

Happy Birthday Nanay and Sofia Annica

Today is my Nanay's 66th birthday and My niece First Birthday.
happy birthday to the both of them.=)


Araw Mo

Nina

Ang araw na 'to, ay araw mo,
Pagdating mo sa ating mundo,
Natatandaan, di malilimutan,
Kailan man, kailan man

Lahat nagbago sa araw na 'to,
Pagdating mo sa buhay ko,
Lahat sumaya, buhay ko'y nag-iba
Happy birthday

Ang saya ng mundo, ngayong ikaw ay narito, oh
I wish you a happy birthday

Ang araw na 'to, ay araw mo,
Pagdating mo sa ating mundo,
Natatandaan, di malilimutan

I wish you a happy birthday
Happy birthday

Ang araw na 'to, ay araw mo,
Pagdating mo sa ating mundo,
Natatandaan, di malilimutan

I wish you a happy birthday
Happy birthday

wanted: Bestfriend

Minsan naihambing ko ang pagkakaroon ng kaibigan sa pagkakaroon ng lobo nung mga bata pa tayo.Masayang masaya ako nung binili ako ng isang bago at makulay na lobo.Ang sabi ng nanay, higpitan ko ang pagkakahawak sa pisi kasi baka lumipad.Sa kabila ng paalala, naging kampante pa rin ako na hindi kakawala ang lobo.Hindi ko alam na isang malakas na hangin lang ang aagaw sa lobo na ito na hindi ko man lang naipagmalaki sa aking mga kalaro.Habang lumilipad ang lobo, ang tanging nagawa ko ay sundan na lang ito ng tingin.Nangingilid man ang luha ay naisip ko na wala na kong magagawa.Hindi ko napansin, nakatingin na lang ako sa malawak na langit hanggang mawala ang gatuldok na imahe ng lobo.Umasa akong bababa pa sa lupa ang lobong iyon.Nang tinanong ko ang nanay kung makikita ko pa ito, sinabi niya na hindi na ito babalik.Sinabi niya na sumama na ito sa mga ulap.At idinagdag niya na lang na ibibili ako uli ng bago para hindi ako malungkot.At dahil sa sinabi niya ay nakalimutan ko na ang lumipad na lobo.

Naiinggit ako sa mga taong mayroon o nakatagpo na ng matalik na kaibigan.Dahil ako,hanggang ngayon ay naghahanap pa rin.O maaaring nakatagpo na ko pero sa iba't ibang kadahilanan ay bigla na lang silang nawawala.Alam ko na walang permanenteng bagay sa mundo at hindi ko kontrol ang buhay pero nakakalungkot lang isipin na ang pagkakaibigan na ninais kong magtagal pa ay bigla na lang naputol.

Naalala ko nung grade one ako.Unang araw 'yun ng klase.Tinabihan ako ng patpating batang gaya ko at hinatian ng baon niyang sandwich.Ang sabi niya sakin,"mula ngaun ikaw na ang bestfriend ko!"Nagustuhan ko ang sandwich na binigay niya pero nagtaka lang ako kung bkit gusto niya kong maging bestfriend.At naisip ko rin,ganun ba kadali maghanap ng bestfriend?bibigyan mo lang ng sandwich, pagkatapos ay bestfriends na kayo?Pagtanda ko ay narealize na hindi ganun.Nang sumunod na taon ay lumipat na ng ibang eskwelahan ang bestfriend kong ito.

Pagdating ng grade two, ang lagi ko namang kasa-kasama ay si Julius.Lagi kami sa kanila pero dahil sa pagputok ng Bulkang Pinatubo, na sumira ng bahay nila, lumipat din siya sa ibang eskuwelahan.Pero natuwa rin ako dahil nakikita ko pa rin si Julius sa mga kontest na sinasalihan ko pero nakakalungkot dahil madalas ay hindi niya ko pinapansin.marahil ay nalimot niya na ko.

Pagdating naman ng grade three ay nakapalagayan ko ng loob si Eduardo.lagi ako sa bahay nila.Ang bonding namin nun ay magdrawing, magbasa ng komiks, maligo sa dam malapit sa kanila at maglakwatsa.Siya ang naging best friend ko hanggang grade six.parehas din kami ng pinasukang high school pero hindi kami naging magkaklase.Napunta siya sa ibang section.Pagdating first year high school,nagkaroon siya ng problema sa pamilya niya.napasama siya sa hindi magandang barkada.At nabalitaan ko rin na sinubok niya na magdrugs.nang taon ding iyon ay biglaang naisip ng pamilya ko na lumipat sa maynila.Lumipat din ako ng eskwelahan at hindi nakapagpaalam kay eduardo.pero madalas ko siyang maalala.nakonsensiya ako dahil hindi ko siya natulungan sa mga problema niya.

Mula second year high school hanggang fourth year high school ay hindi ko rin natagpuan ang bestfriend na hinahanap ko.akala ko ay si ryan na 'yun.Si ryan ang nagturo sakin na maglaro ng basketball, makipagbarkada sa mga astig naming kaklase at maglakwatsa sa mga lugar na hindi ko pa nararating.Pero narealized ko na hindi nagtutugma ang mga gusto namin.At naisip ko rin na madalas ay umaasa siya sa akin sa mga assignments at exams.kaya itinigil ko ang pagsama sa kanya.naging close din kami ng kaklase kong si sharon.Lagi ko siyang kausap sa telepono, na naguusap lang ng kung anu ano.Nagkaroon din ng pagkakataon na binalak ko siyang ligawan pero hindi ko itinuloy, bilang respeto na rin sa kaklase namin na nanliligaw sa kanya.At ito rin sigurong naging dahilan ng malamig na pakikitungo namin sa isa't isa.

Pagdating naman ng kolehiyo,naghahanap pa rin ng bestfriend.Nakilala ko si melfer, transferee siya at sabay kami lagi naglulunch, sabay nangalakwaktsa sa Robinson at Sm manila at kasaksama ko sa pagtambay sa field kapag ROTC.Siya rin ang nagturo sakin ng internet at counterstrike.Okay na sana ang lahat hanggang nagkaroon kami ng isang group project sa isa sa mga majors namin.Gusto niya na bumuo kami ng sarili naming grupo.Ang gusto ko naman ay sumama sa magagaling naming kaklase.Simpleng bagay lang naman iyon na lumaki.kaya sa huli naghiwalay din kami ng grupo.nang sumunod na sem ay nagtransfer din siya ng ibang course.

Nagkaroon din ako ng barkada dahil sa maraming group projects kami na kailangan gawin.Si paul at si jayson ang lagi kong kasama nun mula paggawa ng program hanggang panonood ng sine.Pero isang semester lang ang pinagsamahan namin dahil pinili ko noon na malipat ng block dahil sa hindi naging maganda ang grades ko.pero nanghinayang ako dahil naging maganda ang samahan naming tatlo.

Nang magtrabaho naman ako,nagkaroon din ako ng barkada sa kompanyang ito.pero ang matagal kong nakasama at nakasama ko rin sa isang bahay ay si sarah.Si sarah din ang naging hingahan ko ng loob kapag may problema.At siya rin sa akin.marami kaming masayang pinagsamahan sa loob ng dalawang taon.Kung anong meron ako ay shinashare ko sa kanya.Pero nagbago ang lahat dahil sa di inaasahang pangyayari.nabuntis siya ng boyfriend niya at kailangan niyang magmoveout sa apartment na tinitirahan namin.Normal lang siguro ang naramdaman ko na masaktan dahil sa matagal ko siyang nkasama.mas matagal pa kesa dun sa naging boyfriend niya.mahal ko siya bilang matalik na kaibigan.in fact naipakilala ko na siya minsan na bestfriend ko.pero hindi naging maganda ang paghihiwalay namin.pakiramdam ko kasi binalewala niya ang mga paalala ko sa kanya.pakiramdam ko rin ay naging insensisitive siya at naging padalus dalos sa mga desisyon niya.umalis siya ng apartment nang hindi kami naguusap.At kahit nagkikita kami sa office ay parang hindi kami magkakilala.O maaaring hindi ko nga siya ganun kakilala.At hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan magiging ganito.

Maaring sabihin na choice ko rin kung bakit nawala ang bestfriends ko.Pero pinilit ko na manatili sila.Gaya ng takot na pagkawala ng regalong lobo nung bata pa, sinubukan kong higpitan ang hawak sa pisi.sinubukan kong habulin ang lobo bago pa ito tuluyang lumayo sa akin pero sa lakas ng hangin ay hindi ko na siya napigil.Umasa din ako na mahuhulog pa rin siya mula sa langit, kahit na maliit na lang at wala ng hangin.


Marami pang lobo ang maaaring ibigay sa akin.maaring iba na ang kulay o di hamak na mas malaki na kesa dun sa nauna.kagaya ng mga nauna kong lobo, iingatan ko siya.sisiguradudin ko na hindi na walang malakas na hangin ang tatangay sa kanya.

----

***Anyone who has lost something they thought was theirs forever finally comes to realize that nothing really belongs to them.

--Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes