Sunday, April 29, 2007

What Ifs and If Onlys

A week ago, I was interviewed for an OIC post.I tried to answer the panelist' quetions as smartly as possible.I thought the interview process would be a breeze but I came across with this question which I think is the hardest question thrown at me during that time.The question was like if there's something in my past that I wanted to change, what would that be and why?I was thinking hard because the truth of the matter is, if I have the power in my hand, I would definitely change a lot of things from my past.However, since i was afraid of taking risk that time and giving that answer would only open a can of worms so I played safe. I just gave a beauty-contest-winning-answer : "Oh there's nothing in my past that I wanted to change.We can only change our future but not our past.Yada yada..."
I realized after the interview that it's not an honest answer.It should not be my answer.Who in the world does not want to change his past?Well unless you were born a somebody,king or queen in some faraway land.I am certain that there's a thing or two from our past that we wished never happened or hoped would had happened in a different way.
I asked the question to my friend and she said she is contented with the way things are but she could be happier if some things happened the way she want it to be.I dunno if its just me but I feel there is still bitterness from that statement.Haha.
Seriously, while I am thinking about the answer to that question I realized one thing,I am still prisoner of my past.Although I said I already forgive some people but there are still some hurtful things I can't forget.I still can't move on and still not over with that person I truly loved six years ago.I am still upset that I did not pursue my dream of becoming what I really wanted to be .I am still regretful and wished that I could have spent more time with my father when he was alive.There were thousands of what ifs and if onlys lingering in mind.
I guess I am the type who is really attached with his past. I am so nostalgic and would often look at some old pictures and reminisced the good things that happened.I will feel sad when an old love song is being played on the radio.I love to see old friends and acquiantances and talked about the events that happened in the past.I am always hunted by the pain of yesterday.
It's sad and I hate myself for being like this but what can I do?I really wish there's an easy way of forgetting.I hope I stop clinging on to my past and just move on with the future.
I know I can't be happy feeling and being this way.Probably the best thing I can do, is look back on the good things that happened and use the bad things as a learning tool for the future.But its easier said than done.
I just wanted to share my thoughts.There were so much negative things in mind so I hope talking about this will somehow help me overcome them.Bakit naman kasi binabalikan pa ang nakaraan.hehe.
I don't want to end this post negatively so let me just quote this line from my favorite movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,"The only true path toward “eternal sunshine” is a path that cherishes the memory of the sorrows and the joys, the loves and the disappointments of life."

Thursday, April 26, 2007

sad sad world

The other day I was watching a CNN documentary about the Virginia Tech Massacre.I just learned from wikipedia that this is the second deadliest school shooting incident in U.S. history.

I could not help but shed tears for the 32 wasted lives.Imagine your in college,your building your life because this is your only chance at a future and someone will just ended that thru a useless , meaningless death?

I know it sounds cliche but this is something that I thought I would only see in movies, one that I don't really expect to happen in real life.

This is pretty sad.

Let us all pray for the victims of this tragedy.

For more infos , go to this site->Virginia Tech massacre

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

God Bless the Broken Road

This is an old song I really like.I wish someday,somehow I could sing this song to that special someone that I have been waiting for quite a long time.


I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

[ Chorus: ]
Every long lost dream
Lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart
They were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way
Into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you.

I think about the years I spent
just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost
and give it back to you
but you just smile and take my hand
You been there, you understand
It's all part of a grander plan
that is coming true.

[ Chorus ]

Now I'm just rolling home
into my lovers arms
this much i know is true
that God blessed the broken road
that led me straight to you

That god blessed the broken road
that led me straight to you

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

happy fiesta

May will be a very busy month.I am pretty loaded with a lot of things to do.Before the end of April (From the 26th until the 30th), me and some friends from the office might go to Sagada to unwind.I already filed my leave for that but I am still not certain if i will go.Gastos na naman eh.

Our townhall (annual gathering of employees in the company) will also be held sometime in May.The last time it was held in Araneta.This time, based on the result of the employee's poll, i think it will be in Enchanted Kingdom or in Fort Open field.The theme for this year I think will be school fair/battle of the bands.Last year's townhall was boring (Rockstar contest thingie) so i hope it will be a lot of fun this time.

Taralets barkada (PLM Friends) was also "drawing" an outing/get together on first week of May.The original plan was a two day beach outing at Puerto Galera.I doubt this will push thru,the last time we planned on this, we ended up in some private resort somewhere in Laguna.The last time I heard, it will just be a videoke/bowling session on one saturday night this May.

Next event will be the baptismal of sarah's daughter on may 5th.I could not miss that since she already told me that i will be the ninong.Then comes my brother's birthday.He does not really celebrate his birthday but it will be sort of family day for us.

Our team in the office was also planning to go to tali beach in batangas on may 11 to 12.This is the outing that I am really looking forward to.We have some newbies in the team that I wanted to get to know better.Also,I really really wanted to go to Tali beach.This is really a beautiful beach in Batangas.

After that will be my sister's birthday.

I dunno kung saan ko pa ipapasok yung plano ko na magaral ng short course on graphic Arts at magenrol sa Gym.Major goodluck talaga.


I will be moving out on my apartment by April 21st.matagal ko na rin naman itong plinano.There were series of unfortunate events kasi na nangyari that push me to finally move out.

Naglipat na rin kami from Bulacan to Valenzuela for practical reason.My mom and i will stay with my brother and his family.Ipaparent na lang 'yung bahay namin sa Bulacan.Maguuwian na naman ako.Parang angirap na magadjust kapag malayo ang bahay.haggard.Kailangan ko na bumili ng kotse.Wish ko lang.

Pero hindi ako worried sa pagcocomute.Worried ako dahil kasama ko na naman ang Kuya ko.I know were now in good terms pero mahirap talagang kalimutan 'yung mangyari noon.Naiisip at naalala ko pa rin siya.Sobrang hindi kasi kami magkasundo dati.Hindi kami noon pwede pagsamahin sa isang kuwarto dahil talagang magaaway kami.Sana nga ngayon maging peaceful na ang mga buhay namin.dapat lang, matatanda na kami para magaway.=)

Art's VisualDNA

I got this link from Joms.This one is cool .=)

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Summer 2007

I just wanted to share these pictures I took this March.I am really starting to get serious with photography.Too bad that it was just recently that I got my own digital camera.I am really hoping that I will have the chance to learn it professionally, y' know getting a photography course or go to an art school. I am really happy with how these pictures came out. =)

More on my photoblog site: flicker and multiply.