Thursday, September 20, 2007

My Dating Persona Test

I took this Psychology test and I got some pretty disturbing result.

The 5-Night Stand
Deliberate Brutal Sex Master (DBSM)

Compassionate, loving, and understanding, but only for one business week, you are The 5-Night Stand.

Sex is your primary objective, and you are a skilled manipulator. Therefore, you get LOTS of ass. Most likely, you juggle many men at once; you care about all of them a lot, but each of them a little. It adds up, right? One love.

You're not dishonest with people, exactly. It's unlikely, for instance, you'd actually say "I love you," just to get laid; and you might even go as far as explaining "I'm not ready for a commitment" to a potential partner. Of course, when you say it, you'd smile that special smile, like you two have an inside joke. Him.

The secret of your success? Every nice person has an instinct to fix the broken dirtbag within you. Women especially have this instinct, because deep down they want their sons to be evil, a genetic advantage.

To wit, your most likely occupations are stock broker, lawyer, and photographer. You are a hard worker, because power and success turn you on.

Your exact male opposite:
The Boy Next Door

Random Gentle Love Dreamer
Always avoid: The False Messiah (DBLM), The Vapor Trail (RBLM), The Bachelor (DGSM)

Consider: The 5-Night Stand (DBSM)

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

random thoughts for the day

Thanks to a very long bus travel and terrible traffic I came up with these thoughts for myself.

***When something or someone seems too good to be true, it is just right to ask what the catch is.

***Do not tell or teach someone to be compassionate when you are actually a perfect example of an immature, proud and insensitive human being.You're just probably not aware of it.

***It is unlucky of me to meet a lot of hypocrites and plastic people lately.Thanks to you, because I am now cautious in dealing with these kind of people.A friend is right,not all people who smiles at you can be considered as friend.

***Lastly do not bother another soul,trying to win his heart by using phrases like you are "a good catch",that's funny and sick because you dont even know yourself that well.I don't know exactly what you meant when you said that.And even if let's say ,you are a good catch it's better to be quite and not brag about it.It is far more honorable to keep quiet than to talk and then become disreputable.


How do you like the new skin of my blog?It's cool isn't it?

Life seems to be very easy right now here in the new department.Maybe because since I am new here, they did not give my that much workload.Plus I am no longer taking calls,so I am soo happy.I am only completing a few deliverables every day.Thanks also for free the internet connection because I can blog here.Hehe.Next week will be a very stressful week since I have to meet the goal for auditing uploads, audits and what have you's.I think I have adjusted already here.I never had any hard time getting along with my new workmates.

Mas pipiliin ko pa rin ang ginagawa ko ngayon kesa sa dati kong trabaho na wala yatang araw na hindi uminit ang ulo dahil sa mga pasaway na customers.Now I can breathe again.

Wala ako gaanong maisip na isulat ngayon so random thoughts na lang muna.

Congratulations to UP Pep squad,for being the champion in this year's University Athletic Association of the Philippines (UAAP) Cheerdance Competition which was held at the Araneta Coliseum, September 16.
Next year manonood na ko nito sa big dome.I am not really a fan of this cheerdance contest pero naaliw ako nung napanood ko siya last sunday.Mas masaya siguro kung kasama ang school ko nung college sa UAAP.Haha.


Picture taken from:

I have been watching some of Audrey hepburn's classic movies (Sabrina, Roman Holiday,Children Hour etc).I first saw her in Breakfast in Tiffany's and from then I became a fan.Nakakaaliw siya.She never fails to amaze me with her charm and timeless elegance.She is truly a beauty and fashion icon in the real sense of the word.
There have been a lot of realization and drama in my life lately.As in HEAVY DRAMA. But I'd rather not talk about it now.Nakakapagod din pala ang masyadong madramang buhay.Sana nga hindi na lang ako ganoon kaemosyonal.Kaya kahit dito lang sa blog ko hayaan niyo na lang akong sumigaw at magmura : "TANGINA.GUSTO KO RING MAGING MASAYA."

Haha.Thanks.I now,I feel much better.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Rereading Eleven Minutes

Let me post some of the beautiful quotes from this must read book. Hopefully, i will remember them.

"Anyone who has lost something they thought was theirs forever finally comes to realise that nothing really belongs to them. And if nothing belongs to me, then there's no point wasting time looking after things that aren't mine; its best to live as if today was the first (or last) day of my life."

"I can choose either to be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure. It's all a question of how I view my life."

"Some people were born to face life alone, and this is neither good or bad, its simply life."- "But life was teaching her - very fast - that only the strong survive. To be strong, she must be the best, there's no alternative".

"I'm not a body with a soul, I'm a soul that has a visible part called body."

"A man doesn't prove he's a man by getting an erection. He's only a real man if he can pleasure a woman. And if he can pleasure a prostitue, he'll think he's the best lover on the block."

"... but there's always one woman who frightens them (men) and forces them to submit to her caprices." (Maria, wondering how all her clients seem to be 'afraid')

"Eleven minutes. The world revolved around something that only took eleven minutes." (The accompanying para is amazing, its too long to type though)

"Human beings can withstand a week without water, two weeks without food, many years of homelessness, but not loneliness. Its the worst of all tortures, the worst of all sufferings."

"That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it."

"Love is not to be found in someone else, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with."

"Passion makes a person stop eating, sleeping, working, feeling at peace. A lot of people are frightened because, when it appears, it demolishes all the old things it finds in its path."

"Each day I choose the truth which I try to live. I try to be practical, efficient, professional. But I would like to be able always to choose desire as my companion. Not out of obligation, not to lessen my loneliness, but because its good. Very good."

"If you want to achieve your objectives, you have to be prepared for a daily dose of pain or discomfort. At first, its unpleasant and demotivating, but in time you come to realise that it's a part of the process of feeling good, and the moment arrives when, if you don't feel pain, you have a sense that exercises aren't having the desired effect." (As true as it can be, this is the hardest thing!)-

"Oh, so you want to think that, do you? All right then, do what you like, while I get on with more important things." (Maria, to herself, when her heart complained about the absence of her love)

"The art of sex is the art of controlled abandon."- "..., it's (pain) a very powerful drug. Its in our daily lives, in our hidden suffering, in the sacrifices we make, blaming love for the destruction of our dreams. Pain is frightening when it shows its real face, but its seductive when it comes disguised as sacrifice or self denial. Or cowardice. However much we may reject it , we human beings always find a way of being with pain, or flirting with it and making it a part of our lives."

"Pain and suffering are used to justify the one thing that brings only joy: love."

"No one around me is happy; the clients know that they are paying for something that should be free, and thats depressing. The women know that they have to sell something which they would like to give out of pleasure and affection, and that is destructive." (Maria, in a diary entry).

"Life is too short, or too long, to allow myself the luxury of living it so badly."

"In all languages in the world, there's the same proverb: "What the eyes don't see, the heart doesn't grieve over". Well, I say there isn't an ounce of truth in it. The further off they are, the closer to the heart are all those feelings we try to repress and forget. If we are in exile, we want to store away every tiny memory of our roots. If we're far from the person we love, everyone we pass in the street reminds us of them." (Maria, quoting a priest in her diary).- "Its odd how, when you live in a city, you always postpone getting to know it and usually end up never knowing it at all."

Monday, September 10, 2007

Sa wakas

I will be part of the Quality Monitoring team starting today.I am actually excited since I will work with a different department but at the same time, I am quite sad since I have to leave my team.But I have to move on,this change is something I need to accept in order for me to grow professionally.

Looking back, I felt that everything happened so fast. I remember how upset I was because I did not get the schedule that i wanted a month ago.I was disappointed because I know my place in the team.I was one of the top performers.I don't have any late nor absences on the previous month.I felt that what my co-employess used to tell me is probably true,that the best people in this company are never being rewarded or recognized no matter how much effort they give.

I was crying while I was composing my resignation letter.I have been working here for about three years.Most people are complaining about the salary, the management and the lack of opportunity for growth.But I decided to stay.Now just like them I have to leave to find a place where I think I will not only grow but will also be happy and fulfilled.Most of my teammates were actually surprised about my decision.I am the employee who is most unlikely to resign.I always tell them I am happy and there is no reason to leave the company.

I think that is one of the most difficult decisions I made in my life.I passed my resignation letter.I was given a week to think if I should retract it or not.I was being emotional that time and if my heart will be the one to decide about it, it will say I should go.But I listened to my mind.I retract the resignation letter before the effectivity date.

A friend accompanied me to a church in which he said is miraculous.My folks used to tell me that if it was your first time to see the church, you have to make a wish.I told God that if there's a miracle I wanted to see in my life, it will be a change in direction in my career life and my relationships with other people. I don't know if it's just mere coincedence but one of my wishes actually came into reality.
A week after , a party was organized by the program to recognize the top performing agents .I was one of the few people who have been recognized.That made my team captain encouraged me to apply for the Quality assurance analyst position.That also made me realized that the effort I gave were actually not left in vain.To make the long story short, I passed the screening and I will be working for the QA department starting today.

I remember my interview with the manager of the department.One of his questions was, what took me so long for apply in the position.For lack of sensible answer I told him what my friend told me about waiting for the perfect time. I said,there is grace in waiting.I could not understand that concept before.

Now it all makes a lot of sense.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

another drama episode

To you,

I hope everything's doing good on your end.I hardly slept this morning after that talk we had.Well to tell you,its been like that for a week.I tried to pretend I am ok thinking that I can handle this but the truth is what I am going through right now is not easy.I still don't know what to think, I am still clueless how to deal with this.

You said you are confused.That there have been a lot of realizations lately about yourself.That it was only recently that you've learned that your being inconsistent about your feelings will just bring me a lot of heartache.You also told me that you are bombarded with a lot of problems-about your family, your work and then me.I am pretty sure they're giving you a lot of headaches and pressure.And I know its not easy either.

I wanted to tell you that I am somehow disappointed for your insensitivity and for not trusting me when I wanted to share your pain in times that you're really down.I also hate it when you keep everything to your self and not telling me things that I need to know.I remember you said one time that you are willing to share your life with me.I also wanted to do the same to you.I want to be there for you anytime.I want to share not only your joy,dreams and passion but your trouble, your fears and pain.I always wanted to be the one who makes you smile,who pushes you to the top to be the best of what you can be and symphatize with your needs.In my prayers I am asking God to give me a chance to to be at your side and to grow with you.

Please dont assume that I already know how you feel.It was you who said that I don't know you that much.We have an agreement that if there will come a time that any of us does not want to continue whatever we have right now, we'll tell each other right away.I am begging for your honesty.If it takes letting you go for a while, I'll do that. I will not pretend I'm not hurting, because I am.I have accepted a long time ago that the moment you love someone you have given him the capacity to hurt you, that how much you hurt is equal to how much you have loved, that getting hurt is proportionate to having too many expectations.

I am not asking you to change for me.All I am asking is for you to have a little faith and respect in me.No one has the right to tell you to change.You have the solid dominion over your own feelings and nobody, even myself, has the right to trample on it. I respect you're entirety and that includes whatever is in your mind, soul and heart.

I may not be ok right now but no worries, no pressure. I'll be fine and alright in another sunny day.We are still cool and I’m looking forward to seeing you again.I wanted to talk, clear things up once and for all.

Wherever life may lead us from here,I will say good luck to both of us.

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Friday, August 24, 2007

I love Imago

I am really impressed with Imago's musicality and song writing.I accidentally listened to their song while boarding a bus going to work.From then, I started to listen to some of their songs.Astig ito,yun lang masasabi ko.Now they will be be one of my favorite bands, next to my all time fave, Eheads.Three of my friends commented that i look like Zach daw, Imago's drummer.He is probably goodlooking,i said.Haha.
Here's their newest video Sundo from their album Blush.Feeling ko videojock ako ng Myx.Enjoy!


Kumusta ka na?

Hindi ko maipaliwanag sa kabila ng pagod at sa haba ng araw na ito ay naalala kitang bigla.Kung bakit kasi naisipan kong hanapin ang profile mo sa friendster kanina.Ang totoo,noon ko pa siya nakita pero takot akong iinvite ka.Baka mareject lang ang invitation ko.Baka kasi hindi mo na ko kilala.Sabagay anim na taon na ang nakararaan ng huli tayong magkita.Napakarami ng nagbago.Napakarami ko na ring pinagdaanang relasyon at alam kong ikaw rin.Pero sadya yatang hirap ako na limutin ka.

Nilakasan ko ang loob ko.Binuksan ko ang profile mo at ininvite kita.Nagpadala pa nga ako ng message sa iyo.Ang sabi ko : "Hi kumusta na? ____,si ____ ito,nagmeet tayo nung 3rd year college tayo.Sana naalala mo pa.Kung hindi mo na ko matandaan, sana maalala mo ako sa mga bagay na babanggitin ko : purple valentines card,green scrapbook,Lord of the Rings,Forevermore,Tapsilog,Intramuros at Circle.Ayan,sana maalala mo."

Wala namang may kasalanan kung bakit nagkahiwalay tayong dalawa.Parehas tayong mga bata pa noon.Parehas na wala pang karanasan sa pagkakaroon ng ganitong klaseng relasyon.Siguro ako ang sinisisi mo kaya tayo nagkahiwalay.Hindi kasi kita naipaglaban.Masyado ding naging makitid ang utak ko.

Nakakatawa ang pagkakakilala natin.Birthday ko noon.Pagkaalis ng mga bisita ko pagkatapos namin maginuman sa bahay ay binuksan ko ang telebisyon.Naaliw ako sa music video na palabas,sa ilalim ng screen ay may mga messages ng mga taong bumabati sa kaibigan,mga nagrerequest ng video at may ilan din namang naghahanap ng textmates.Bagama't hilo na ko sa ininom na alkohol ay nakuha ko pa rin ang numero ng cellphone mo na napakabilis na ipinakita sa screen.

Nagsimula ang lahat sa simpleng "ASL" na pinadala ko sa iyo.Noong una, iniisip ko na parehas lang tayong mga bored ng panahong iyon.Naghahanap ng pampalipas oras.Ng mapagkakabalahan.Pero may kung ano ka yatang angking gayuma at bigla naging interesado ako sa iyo.Nagsimula ang pagpapalitan ng text messages.Ang mga text ay nasundan ng mga paguusap sa telepono.Bigla kong naalala ngayon, kung paano akong laging nakabantay sa telepono at nakikipagunahang sumagot sa mga kapatid ko sa pagaakalang ikaw ang tumatawag.Naalala ko rin ng minsan muntik mahulog sa timba ng tubig o inodoro ang cellphone ko dahil dinadala ko ito kahit pagpunta sa banyo.Naaalala ko rin kung paanong lagi akong inaasar ng mga kaibigan ko dahil kakaiba daw ang ngiti ko kapag nakakatanggap ng text message mula sa iyo.

Pagkatapos ng ilang linggong paguusap sa text at sa telepono,nagpasya tayong kitain ang isa't isa.Maaga akong dumating sa napagusapang lugar.Bagama't hindi ikaw ang unang taong nakaeyeball ko ay napakalakas pa rin ng kaba ko sa dibdib.Marahil sadyang natatakot lang ako sa rejection.Maaaring takot lang ako na madisappoint ka.At maaring takot din ako na hindi natin magustuhan ang isa't isa sa pagkikitang ito.

Habang sinusundan ko ng tingin ang mga taong nandoon na may suot na kulay itim na t-shirt na sabi mo'y suot mo, ay biglang tumunog ang cellphone ko.Tumatawag ka.Ang sabi mo nakababa ka na ng taxi.Alam kong ikaw ang namataan ko ilang metro mula sa kinatatayuan ko.Natatawa ako dahil napakalapit na natin sa isat isa pero magkausap pa tayo sa cellphone.Kumaway ka.Nakangiti,naimagine ko na sa mga paguusap natin ang mga ngiting iyon.Pinatay mo ang cellphone mo,lumapit ka sa akin.Kabado pa rin ako habang nakikipagkamay sa iyo.Tumingin ako sa mga mata mo.Sabi nila sa mga mata mo mababasa kung masaya ang isang tao.At nakita sa mga matang iyon na masaya ka.

Doon nagsimula ang ilan sa pinakamasayang araw sa buhay ko.Hindi ako magaling sa paglalarawan ng nararamdaman pero alam kung ng mga panahong iyon, ang nararamdaman ko ay isa sa pinakamasarap na naramdaman ko sa buong buhay ko.

Paano nga ba kita malilimot.Eh lubhang napakaraming bagay ang nagpapaalala sa akin sa iyo.

Natatandaan mo ba kung paanong wala tayong pakialam na magkahawak ng kamay sa loob ng MRT? Naririnig mo pa ba ang lakas ng mga halakhakan natin kapag magkasama tayo?Natatandaan mo ba ang mga hitsura ng mukha natin ng parehas tayong nasorpresa dahil parehas ang nabili nating valentine's card? Ang paulitulit at walang sawa nating pagpatugtog ng Forevermore ng Side A kapag nakatambay tayo sa bahay niyo.Ang pagtambay natin sa Circle pagkatapos manood ng sine sa Annex.Ang stargazing na madalas nating gawin sa pader ng Intramuros pagkatapos ng klase ko.

Sana natatandaan mo ang mga iyon kasi ako natatandaan ko pa.

Pero hindi lahat ng alaala natin na natatandaan ko ay maganda.Hindi lahat ng araw ay naging masaya at madali para sa atin.

Ang sabi nila kapag nagmahal ka makikita kaagad ng iba.Magiging maganda ang lahat ng pangyayari,ngunit ang sa atin ay iba.Dumating sa punto na napabayaan ko na ang pagaaral ko para lang makita ka.At ikaw din naman,madalas ka din hindi pumasok sa ibang klase mo dahil ayaw mo na madisappoint ako kapag nangako ka na magkikita tayo.Nakakagalitan na tayo ng mga magulang natin dahil sa pagiging iresponsable.

Madalas din ay nababalewala ko ang nararamdaman mo.madalas mong sabihin na mahal mo ako.Pero ang lagi kong sinasabi ay napakamushy mo o kaya naman kapag naglalambing ka ay nasasabi ko na napakakorni mo.

Masyado ako noong nasanay na laging nandiyan ka.Masyado akong naging dependent sa iyo.Nagtatampo kaagad ako kapag hindi ka nakakasagot agad sa text at o nakakatawag gayung reasonable naman ang dahilan mo.Lumabas ang insecurities ko at masyado akong naging demanding at seloso.naging maikli ang pasensiya ko at lagi akong inaatake ng pagdududa.May mga ilang pagkakataon din na nagaway tayo dahil sabi mo sobrang nasasakal ka na.Sa maniwala ka at sa hindi,Sa iyo umikot ang mundo ko.

Naging pasensiyoso ka noong una.May mga compromise ka ding ginawa.-nagbigay ka,umuunawa, nagpapatawad.Ako nama'y tanggap lang ng tanggap.Pero paulit ulit pa ring ginawa ang mga bagay na hindi pinagkakasunduan.Pero sabi nga ng matatanda, napupuno din ang salop.Hanggang hindi mo na nakaya ang immaturity ko at biglang naging malamig ka na lang.

Ilang araw tayong hindi nagusap.Bigla na lang idinahilan mo na inatake ka ng trangkaso at hirap ka na gumamit ng cellphone at telepono.Noong una ay naniwala ako.Hanggang ang araw na hindi nating pagkikita at paguusap ay naging linggo at ang linggo ay naging buwan.

Takot akong ibaba ang pride ko sa iyo.Kahit kabisado ko pa ang cell number mo,landline at kahit email.wala akong ginawang paraan para makipagayos sa iyo.Nagulat na lang ako minsan ng buksan ko ang inbox ng email ko at nakita ko ang pangalan mo.Ang sabi mo namimiss mo na ako.Humihingi ka ng sorry at sinabi mong napabayaan mo ako.Humihingi ka ng isa pang pagkakataon para ibalik ang dati.Naglakip ka pa nga litrato nating dalawa sa email na iyon.

Naging matigas ang puso ko.Inisip ko na kung nakaya mong tiisin ako ng matagal ay kayang kaya ko ring gawin yun.Nakipagdate ako sa iba.Inakala kong iyon ang sagot para malimutan ka.Ang mga sumunod kong mga naging karelasyon ay naging napakaikli lamang.Hindi ko alam, hinahanap kong lagi sa kanila ang mga katangiang nakita ko sa iyo.

Hanggang sa napagod ako at ipinasya ko na maging single na lang.Walang gaanong komplikasyon.Walang loob ng dalawang taon, naging single ako.

Sa maraming pagkakataon kapag magisa ako ay naiisip kita.Kung kumusta ka na ba,kung masaya ka ba? kung may natagpuan ka na ba na taong magpapasaya sa iyo?Kung kahit minsan ba ay naisip mo ako.Angtagal kong niloko ang sarili ko na hindi ka importante sa akin.Pero pagod na ko magpanggap,tanggap ko na ang katotohanan na malaki ang naibahagi mo sa buhay ko.

Sana makita mo kung ano na ako ngayon.Pagkatapos ng anim na taon,maipagmamalaki ko sa iyo na malaki na ang ipinagbago ko.Marami kang naituro at binago sa akin.

Ikaw ang nagturo sa akin na pahalagahan ang mga taong mahal mo at nagmamahal sa iyo.Wala nang pangalawang pagkakataon na ibibigay sa atin na makita pang muli kung sakaling mawala sila.

Ikaw din ang nagturo sa akin wag matakot masaktan at wag mapagod magmahal.Kapag bumagsak at nadapa, matutong bumangon.Kahit pa nakaluhod ka na lang at hindi mo na kayang tumayo, ang mahalaga ay pinilit mo.Ang mahalaga ay sumubok ka.

Pero parang malabo na yatang mangyari na makita mo ang mga iyon.Siguro nga mahihirapan akong limutin ka.Siguro nga patuloy akong babagabagin ng pagsisisi na sana'y nagawa kitang ipaglaban noon.

Minsan,napanaginipan kita.Nakangiti ka sa akin habang sinasabi wag akong malungkot.Nagising na lang akong umiiyak.

Marahil tama ka nga.Hindi ako dapat malungkot.Sapagkat nagampanan mo na kung anuman ang dapat maging papel mo sa buhay ko.Na dumating ka para baguhin ito.Na kailangan mo ring umalis at iwan ako.Na kailangan kong huminto na lang at sumuko sa paghihintay sa iyo.

Pero patawarin mo ako dahil hindi ko kaya.Patawarin mo ako dahil gumawa uli ako ng paraan para muling dugtungan pa kung saan man naputol ang lahat.

Mamaya, magoonline ako.Titignan ko kung tinanggap mo ang invitation ko.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Of Love and Commitment


Nitong mga nakaraang araw, maraming katanungan ang gumulo sa dating magulo ko ng utak.Ito ay tungkol sa pagibig at commitment.

Sa isang heart to heart talk ng taong napakalapit sa akin ngayon, nabanggit niya na hirap siyang pakiramdaman ang sarili kung pag-ibig na ba ang nararamdaman niya sa isang tao.Nagkibitbalikat lang ako noong una sa sinabi niya pero nabahala din ako pagkatapos.Ang realization na ibinigay nito sa akin ay kahit mahaba na ring panahon ang inilagi ko sa mundo at ilang relasyon na rin ang nagkaroon ako, hindi ko rin lubos pang nauunawaan kung ano nga ba ang pag-ibig.Paanong ang lahat ay naguusap tungkol sa pagibig at heto kaming dalawa na parang mga tanga na hirap bigyan ng kahulugan ang salitang ito?

Kung nagpapakaintelekwal lang ako ng panahong iyon, maaring nagquote na lang ako ng linya mula sa nabasa kong libro o napanood na pelikula para sabihin sa kanya ang depinisyon ng pag-ibig.Pero matatawa lang ang kausap ko dahil ang pagibig ay sadyang napakakomplikadong konsepto. Kahit tanungin mo ang bawat tao, iba iba ang persepsiyon nila ng pagibig.

Pinagaralan ko yung sinabi ng kausap ko.Hinayaan ko siyang magkuwento ng sa ganun ay magkaroon ako ng ideya kung bakit nasabi niya na mahirap maramdaman ang pagibig.

Ibinahagi niya kung paanong naging jaded na ang pakiramdam niya dahil sa pagibig.Ikinuwento niyang kung paanong ilang beses na siyang nasaktan at naloko ng taong akala niya ay mahal niya at mahal din siya.Inakala niya na ang nararamdaman niya noong mga panahong iyo ay pagibig na talaga. Ang pagiisip ay nadaig ng emosyon ang sabi pa niya.Hindi porke't may kilig at masaya ka na kasama ang isang taong gusto mo ay masasabi mo na ng walang pagaalinlangan na pagibig na ang lahat.Ito'y isang damdamin di mo inaasahan na madarama,at hindi basta basta dapat ibigay.Ang pagibig ay dumadaan din sa panahon.

Pinakikinggan ko siyang mabuti.Kahit pa hindi direktang patungkol sa akin ang sinabi niya at napaguusapan lang naman namin ang konsepto ng pagibig, nakadama ako ng kaunting guilt at pagkapahiya.Napabilang ako sa daliri.Ilang relasyon na ba ang pinagdaanan ko?Sa mga relasyong ito, kampante ko bang masasabi na tunay na pagibig ang nadama at naibigay ko?

Binalikan ko sa isipan ang mga nagdaan kong relasyon.

Maaring idepensa ko ang sarili sa pagsasabing kaya't mababaw lang ang pagkakaunawa ko sa pagibig ay dahil maikling panahon lang ang naibigay sa akin para kilalanin ang taong inakala kong minahal ko at minahal din ako.
Totoo naman.Ang panahon ang magsasabi kong pagibig nga bang matatawag ang nararamdaman mo sa isang tao.

Naalala ko,noon napakadali sa akin ang magsabi ng I love you sa taong nagugustuhan ko.At nakakatawa ring isipin na may mga nakilala ako na nagsasabi na kaaagad sa akin ng mga salitang ito gayung hindi pa ako lubos na kilala.

Inisip ko kung ano ang dahilan nito.Humantong ako sa konklusyon na napakarami ng insecurities ko sa sarili noon.Ang mga salitang I love You maging galing sa taong hindi ko naman kilala ay nagbibigay sa akin ng seguridad na ako ay tanggap.Ang isa pang naisip kong dahilan ay may mga bagay sa ngayon ay madalas nating minamadali.

Hindi lang naman ako kundi marami sa atin ang nahilig sa shortcuts at instant dahil sa pagkahumaling sa teknolohiyang gaya ng cellphone at Internet na siyang nagdulot sa kaisipan natain na ang mga bagay sa ngayon kagaya ng pagibig ay madali lang makukuha.Pero totoo ang sabi nila, ang bagay na madali mong makuha ay madali ring mawawala.Ang panahon ang magbibigay sa atin ng mga pangyayaring masalimuot,masasakit at masaya, at kapag ang lahat ng ito ay nalagpasan ng dalawang taong nagmamahalan na magkasama, masasabi ko na iyon ay pagibig.


Heto muna ang marami kong tanong tungkol sa commitment dahil ito ang madalas gumulo sa akin ngayon.

Bakit may mga taong napakadaling icommit ang sarili at bakit may mga tao rin na napakatagal magpasiya kung makikipagcommit ba sila o hindi?

Hangal nga ba na matatawag ang dalawang tao na pumapasok sa isang commitment na hindi sila sigurado sa nararamdaman ng isa't isa?

Paano nga ba kung isa lang ang nagmamahal at ang isa'y hindi pa sigurado kung pagmamahal na ba ang nararamdaman niya, tama bang ipilit pa rin ang commitment?

Kung hindi,tama ba na sabihin niya sa isa na maghintay hangga't sigurado na siya at alam niya na pagmamahal ang nararamdaman niya?Hanggang kailan ang dapat hintayin?

May punto ba ang isang tao kapag sinabi niya na kapag mas matagal nating kinilala ang isa't isa, mas magiging matibay ang pundasyon ng relasyon kung sakaling magkaroon na ng commitment?

May isang kakilala na nagsabi na ang pagmamahal ay hindi nangangailangan ng commitment, maaring may punto siya.Pero pwede ko ring sabihin akma lamang ang konseptong ito ng pagibig para sa isang kaibigan, para sa isang kamaganak, para sa isang kapamilya.Ang commitment na sinasabi ko dito ay ang commitment para sa dalawang taong nagmamahalan. Sumasangayon din ako na hindi tayo nagmamahal dahil gusto natin ng commitment.Maraming taong nagkakamali na ang relasyon at pagibig ay iisa.Pero hindi.Hindi relasyon ang dahilan kung bakit tayo nagmamahal.

Alam ko na kapag sinabi mo sa isang tao na gusto mo siya ay hindi kaagad nangangahulugan na gusto mong makipagcommit sa kanya.Maaaring ito ay simpleng atraksiyon lamang.Maaari ding naghahanap lang ang isa ng kaibigan.Sa tingin ko kapag ang dalawang tao ay nagkagustuhan na,mahalagang maging malinaw sa dalawa ang gusto nilang mangyari.As early as possible, kailangang malaman kung posible ba o hindi na humantong sa relasyon o commitment ang lahat.

Mahirap malagay sa isang situwasyon kung saan sa gitna ng dating stage kung saan kinikilala niyo ang isa't isa ay biglang marerealize ng isa na handa na siya sa isang commitment pero ang isa ay hindi naman.Ang nakikita kong dahilan nito, maaring naghihintay pa ng sign o naininigurado pa ang isa.Pero ang pinakamasakit na dahilan kaya't hindi makapagcommit ang isang tao ay dahil pinapaasa niya lang ang isa.

Hindi naman tama na pilitin mo na makipagcommit ang isang taong hindi pa handa sa commitment.Isa itong desperasyon na matatawag.Ang paghihintay ang siyang susubok kung ay isa ay handa bang magtiis at magpakasakit.Dahil ang paghihintay para sa akin ay isang napakahirap na gawin sa buhay na ito kung san kahit galaw ng mga kamy sa orasan ay tila nagmamadali.Pero ang malaking katanungan,hanggang kailan nga ba ang dapat ipaghintay at ipagtiis?Hindi ko rin yata masasagot ito.

Maaring makasarili nga ang konsepto ko ng commitment.Kung naramdaman mo ang pagibig at alam mong ganun din ang nararamdaman ng isa, wala na akong nakikitang dahilan para patagalin pa ang lahat.Sabi nga ng isang kaibigan, it guarantees exclusivity, na kung meron nito kahit ba kinukuwestiyon ang pagibig merong bagay na panghahawakan kayong dalawa.Na kapag mayrong commitment na sumasaklaw sa dalawang tao, may seguridad at assurance.

Sa marami kong tanong tungkol sa commitment,heto lang ang nabigyan ko ng sagot.
Bakit nga pumapasok ang dalawang tao sa isang relasyon?Isa lang ang sagot dito,dahil sila ay nagmamahal.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Can't Stay Away From You

As much as I don't want my blog site to be flooded with song lyrics and videos, I can't help it.This song manifests how I feel.Every word of it paints what I feel.

Time flies
when you're having fun
I heard somebody say
But, if all I've been is fun
Then, baby, let me go;
don't wanna be in your way
And I don't wanna be your second choice
Don't wanna be just your friend

You keep telling me that you're not in love
You wanna throw it all away
But I can't stay away from you
I don't wanna let you go
And, though it's killing me--that's true
There's just some things I can't control

Your love is slipping through my hands
And, though I've heard it all before
I know you're telling me the truth
I know it's just no use
But I can't stay away from you
Hold on to ev'ry bit of hope
That's all I ever do
Hoping you might change your mind
And call me up to say how much you need me, too
And, though you're leaving me no other choice
Than to turn and walk away
Look over your shoulder--I'll be there
You can count on me to stay
'Cause I can't stay away from you

I don't wanna let you go
And, though it's killing me--that's true
There's just some things I can't control
Your love is slipping through my hands
And, though I've heard it all before I know you're telling me the truth
I know it's just no use
But I can't stay away from you

Saturday, July 28, 2007

To my beloved.

Thank you for giving me a very special gift, which is a part of yourself. Meeting you and knowing you more each day is truly a celebration of my personhood.
Thank you for making me realized that truly loving another means letting go of all expectations.
Thank you for always reminding me to be compassionate and forgiving.I am now starting to believe that there is a goodness in every person.
I just want you to know that we are one in this travel.It is not just YOUR travel, it's OURS.we will reach our dreams, we will meet different people and we will learn a lot of things together.And everything will be done "nice and slow" as you say.

For all of these things and hundreds more, You will always be a part of me.And I will be forever thnakful for that.
Gawin na lang lyrics site ang blog.Hahaha.I love this song,very beautiful lyrics.

Sundo by Imago

Kay tagal kong sinusuyod
ang buong mundo
Para hanapin,para hanapin ka
Nilibot ang distritong iyong lumbay
Pupulutin, pupulutin ka
Sinusundo kita,Sinusundo…

Asahan mong mula ngayon
pag-ibig ko’y sayo
Asahan mong mula ngayon
pag-ibig ko’y sayo
Sa akin mo isabit
ang iyong lumbay
Di kukulanginang ibibigay
Isuko ang kabatuluyan kang bumitaw
Ika’y manalig
Manalig ka..

Sinusundo kitaSinusundo…
Asahan mong mula ngayon
pag-ibig ko’y sayo
Asahan mong mula ngayon
pag-ibig ko’y sayo
Handa na sa liwanag mo
Sinuyod ang buong mundo
Maghihintay sayo’ng sundo

Monday, July 23, 2007


What can I do?
To make you feel secure
Remove all your doubts
So that you know for sure
That you're the apple of my eye
Fulfillment of my dreams
Time, will show the value
Just what you mean to me
More precious than silver
More precious than diamond rings
Or anything that I can give you
It wouldn't mean a thing
If you didn't have my love beside you there to guide you through
But ain't it good to know you do


I know just how you feel
But this time love's for real
In time it will reveal
A special love that's deep inside of us
Will all reveal in time

I tell you I love you
But you don't believe it's true
More precious than silver
More precious than diamond rings
Or anything that I can give you
It wouldn't mean a thing
If you didn't have my love beside you there to guide you through
But ain't it good to know you do


I know just how you feel
But this time love's for real
In time it will reveal
A special love that's deep inside of us
Will all reveal in time
I know just how you feel
But this time love's for realIn time it will reveal
A special love that's deep inside of us
Will all reveal in time
music intermission

Or anything that I could give
It wouldn't mean a thing
If you didn't have my love beside yo there to guide you through
But ain't it good to know you do


I know just how you feel
But this time love's for real
In time it will reveal
A special love that's deep inside of us
Will all reveal in time
I know just how you feel
But this time love's for realIn time it will reveal
A special love that's deep inside of us
Will all reveal in time
I know just how you feel
But this time love's for realIn time it will reveal
A special love that's deep inside of us
Will all reveal in time

Monday, July 16, 2007

I am back

"Besides, the world isn't split into good people and death eaters. We have all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the power we chose to act on. That’s who we really are. "

-Sirius Black
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
I miss blogging.I miss it like the taste of blood and chocolate.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Da Bomb

Bomb scare disrupts call center's operations in Taguig
Source: ABS CBN Interactive

Employees of a call center in Taguig, Metro Manila were forced to evacuate their building after one of their managers received a bomb threat early Tuesday.

More than two thousand call center agents of Ambergris Solutions evacuated the fourth and fifth floors of Market! Market! mall in The Fort around 2 a.m. after management ordered them out of the building.

Cris Rosenthal, Ambergris VP for Human Resources, said one of the managers received a series of text messages saying a bomb would go off inside the building at 3 a.m. "We called for a meeting and decided to let all the employees evacuate," Rosenthal said.

Police and K-9 units, however, did not find explosives after searching the building for almost three hours. Ambergris Vice-President Paul Egger said the work disruption would have a significant effect on their business. He said the company will conduct its own investigation on the incident.
I just wanted to say thank you for the concern of my friends who sent text messages para kamustahin ako after watching the news.We are all safe and i hope that this will be the last time that this thing will happen.Although walang work but is no joke.
I told Dang, one of my friends who first asked about the situation, how paranoid I was about this bomb threat in the office.Anglakas talaga ng kabog ng dibdib ko that time.I felt like it was a dejavu since I had a dream like that.well, Thank God its over.

Paano nga kaya kung mayroong bomba na natagpuan sa office?



I remember your last text message on me that goes like : " sometimes we put too much passion on the biggest dreams in life that we fail to love the smallest pleasures from simple things.."I just realized now how much I took your presence for granted. I don't think i was able to show appreciation for all the things, big or small, that you've done.I don't even think I was able to say Thank you.So please let me try to recall them and let me say thank you:
For introducing me to your mom and to your friends on the first time that we met.
For taking time to answer my senseless text messages even you are busy reviewing for your exam.
For taking me to the hospital when I felt that I can't go to work anymore because of my tonsilitis.
For trusting me of all your secrets.
For being the very first person to greet me on my birthday, when I, forgot when your birthday is.
For being one of the few person I know who believe that there can still be true love for people like us.
There are still a lot of other things that you taught me and that you've done for me but I feel like if I would try to remember them, it will just bring a lot of pain to me.You know me,I am a very sentimental person.But right now I am sorry, I failed to remember all of the good memories.To tell you honestly,I am really sad that beautiful things will just end like this.
I remember that day I asked you if I can go with you on your trip to Galera.You said no,I can't.You said you will be with someone.It was the first time that I heard you saying that you are already tired of waiting.That one year of waiting is too much.That you cannot be a with a person who des not want a commitment.That you have to say goodbye.
I can see pain when you uttered those words.I did not demand for explanation because I know all my shortcomings.
But I am glad and I thank that you've been honest with your feelings.Right now, I am at the point of denial that this is really happening.I still cannot accept the fact that you have already found someone.I also realized how stupid I am for letting you go.

I wanted to tell that I am happy but I don't wanna betray my feelings.I know it will be stupid of me to I ask if you still love me.I know you are not gonna answer me.
Maybe I am still a believer of second chances.

And I am hoping that there could still be second chance for us.

What Might Have Been
Lou pardini

Somewhere, lost in the wind
I'm watching you
Sunlight touching your hair
And I remember
Somehow, we said that we would never stray
But somehow we lost our way
Promises too often spoken
Are easily broken apart

I'm ready this time
I know that I'm no longer undecided
Don't wanna be
A fool wondering what might have been

Trace of forever lingering
Drawing me closer to you
A new beginning
Now I know
There is no doubt I understand
Just how fragile love can be
I can't forget
Your mem'ry found me
Now I know where I belong

I'm ready this time
I know that I'm no longer undecided
Don't wanna be a fool wondering
What might have been
Through every day, into the night
With only love to guide us
I'm ready to go, coz I've got to know
What might have been
Let the lovin' decide, I can't run, I can't hide
I want you to know
My heart will show that I'm ready this time
I know that I'm no longer undecided
Don't wanna be, a fool wondering what might have been
I've searched everywhere, and nothing compares
When we've got love to guide us
I'm ready to go, coz I wanna know what might have been
I'm wondering what might have been
We're gonna find what might have been
Oh I wanna know what might have been.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

The making of a Gym Bunny

I am glad that finally I was able to accomplish one of the goals I have for this year: to enrol myself in a gym.But the problem I face right now is how to be consistent on my training and how I would make time for it.This is not easy I tell you,a lot of effort,discipline and time management will be needed.
I am just on my third week and I really have to make adjustments on my schedule (less sleep,less gimik).I would usually go to gym three times a week,that is after shift and stay there for like two hours.Then after workout I will go back in the office to sleep.I dont wanna deprive myself of sleep so I bring extra clothes, take a bath in the gym and go directly to office to sleep after my workout.I dont think I can still afford to go home after training since we now live in Valenzuela.That's fine with me since I just do this three times a week.
If you read my old posts, I would often mention that I really wanted to start gain weight and work out in a gym.I was able to achieve my goal of gaining weight last year but for this year I went back to my old skinny self.I read from a forum in PEX that that I can gain weight and tone my muscle at the same time.
I did not have any exercise and a totally newbie on this gym thingie.It really help that there are information available on the internet about being fit and being a "gym bunny".I did my own research, read the posts of those who are good on this stuff and talk to some of my friends who frequent the gym.I also personally went to the gyms like Fitness First, Slimmers World and Gold's.These commercial gyms already established their names and have been in the fitness industry for quite a long time, but I still chose to go to Eclipse gym.I was really impressed with the people from Eclipse.Not only that they know what they were saying but most of them were also friendly and customer oriented.They were very patient on newbies like me.I also like the facilities and equipments they have there.I don't want to sound like I am promoting something so just visit this website to know more about them.Hehe.I also don't want to badmouth the other gyms because I personally did not go to those gyms so I really can't attest if what the negative things spreading around were actually true (I only got second hand infos).
I am also glad that my friend Joms also go to this gym.He may not know it, but I sometimes get my motivation to go to the gym from him. Kasi what I really needed right now is lot of DISCIPLINE and MOTIVATION.hehe.
I know I will not the see the result I want to achieve overnight, but I now looking forward of going to gym and making myself fit.I am excited of thinking what I will look like a year from now with constant gym training.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Happy Mother's day =)

Advance Happy Mother's day especially to my Nanay. I love you.Salamat sa'yo nanay.
Tyler Collins
THANK YOU for teaching me HOW TO LOVE
Showing me what the world means
What I've been dreamin' of
Thanks to You

For teaching me HOW TO FEEL
Showing me my emotions
Letting me know what's real
From what is not
What I've got is more that I'd ever hoped for
And a lot of what I hope for is
Thanks to you

(Oh there's)No mountain, no valley
No heartache, no heartbreak
No fall from grace
Can't stop me from BELIEVING
That MY LOVE will pull me through
Thanks to You

(Oh There's)There's no mountain, no valley
No time, no space
No heartache, no heartbreak
No fall from grace
Can't stop me from believing
That my love will see me through
Thanks to You

Thanks to You
For teaching me how to live
Putting things in perspective
Showing me HOW TO GIVE
And how to take
No mistake
And if I breakdown
Forgive me but it's true
That I'm aching with the love I feel inside
Thanks to You
Thanks to you

Philippine Elections 2007

Definitely this country has a long way to go.
And I am not losing hope.

Yeah I know i am not the type who is not very passionate about this whole carnival show that will happen on Monday (read:Philippine Election). I know I spend a lot of years of my life being indifferent and uninvolved with government and politics but I feel there is something that I (actually, all of us can do) to help in changing this chaotic country.

Guys, on Monday, May 14,let's choose the best candidates for REAL CHANGES to happen in our government.

Follow the cliche: VOTE WISELY.=)


Totoy bilisan mo, bilisan mo ang takbo
Ilagan ang mga bombang nakatutok sa ulo mo
Totoy tumalon ka, dumapa kung kailangan
At baka tamaan pa ng mga balang ligaw

Totoy makinig ka, wag kang magpa-gabi
Baka mapagkamalan ka’t humandusay dyan sa tabi
Totoy alam mo ba kung ano ang puno’t dulo
Ng di matapos-tapos na kaguluhang ito

Refrain :
Hindi pula’t dilaw tunay na magkalaban
Ang kulay at tatak ay di syang dahilan
Hangga’t marami ang lugmok sa kahirapan
At ang hustisya ay para lang sa mayaman

Chorus :
Habang may tatsulok at sila ang nasa tuktok
Di matatapos itong gulo

Iligtas ang hininga ng kay raming mga tao
At ang dating munting bukid, ngayo’y sementeryo
Totoy kumilos ka, baliktarin ang tatsulok
Tulad ng dukha, nailagay mo sa tuktok

Hindi pula’t dilaw tunay na magkalaban
Ang kulay at tatak ay di syang dahilan
Hangga’t marami ang lugmok sa kahirapan
At ang hustisya ay para lang sa mayaman
Habang may tatsulok at sila ang nasa tuktok
Di matatapos itong gulo
Iligtas ang hininga ng kay raming mga tao
At ang dating munting bukid, ngayo’y sementeryo
Totoy kumilos ka, baliktarin ang tatsulok
Tulad ng dukha, nailagay mo sa tuktok
Repeat refrain and Chorus
repeat Chorus
Di matatapos itong gulo

Sunday, April 29, 2007

What Ifs and If Onlys

A week ago, I was interviewed for an OIC post.I tried to answer the panelist' quetions as smartly as possible.I thought the interview process would be a breeze but I came across with this question which I think is the hardest question thrown at me during that time.The question was like if there's something in my past that I wanted to change, what would that be and why?I was thinking hard because the truth of the matter is, if I have the power in my hand, I would definitely change a lot of things from my past.However, since i was afraid of taking risk that time and giving that answer would only open a can of worms so I played safe. I just gave a beauty-contest-winning-answer : "Oh there's nothing in my past that I wanted to change.We can only change our future but not our past.Yada yada..."
I realized after the interview that it's not an honest answer.It should not be my answer.Who in the world does not want to change his past?Well unless you were born a somebody,king or queen in some faraway land.I am certain that there's a thing or two from our past that we wished never happened or hoped would had happened in a different way.
I asked the question to my friend and she said she is contented with the way things are but she could be happier if some things happened the way she want it to be.I dunno if its just me but I feel there is still bitterness from that statement.Haha.
Seriously, while I am thinking about the answer to that question I realized one thing,I am still prisoner of my past.Although I said I already forgive some people but there are still some hurtful things I can't forget.I still can't move on and still not over with that person I truly loved six years ago.I am still upset that I did not pursue my dream of becoming what I really wanted to be .I am still regretful and wished that I could have spent more time with my father when he was alive.There were thousands of what ifs and if onlys lingering in mind.
I guess I am the type who is really attached with his past. I am so nostalgic and would often look at some old pictures and reminisced the good things that happened.I will feel sad when an old love song is being played on the radio.I love to see old friends and acquiantances and talked about the events that happened in the past.I am always hunted by the pain of yesterday.
It's sad and I hate myself for being like this but what can I do?I really wish there's an easy way of forgetting.I hope I stop clinging on to my past and just move on with the future.
I know I can't be happy feeling and being this way.Probably the best thing I can do, is look back on the good things that happened and use the bad things as a learning tool for the future.But its easier said than done.
I just wanted to share my thoughts.There were so much negative things in mind so I hope talking about this will somehow help me overcome them.Bakit naman kasi binabalikan pa ang nakaraan.hehe.
I don't want to end this post negatively so let me just quote this line from my favorite movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,"The only true path toward “eternal sunshine” is a path that cherishes the memory of the sorrows and the joys, the loves and the disappointments of life."

Thursday, April 26, 2007

sad sad world

The other day I was watching a CNN documentary about the Virginia Tech Massacre.I just learned from wikipedia that this is the second deadliest school shooting incident in U.S. history.

I could not help but shed tears for the 32 wasted lives.Imagine your in college,your building your life because this is your only chance at a future and someone will just ended that thru a useless , meaningless death?

I know it sounds cliche but this is something that I thought I would only see in movies, one that I don't really expect to happen in real life.

This is pretty sad.

Let us all pray for the victims of this tragedy.

For more infos , go to this site->Virginia Tech massacre

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

God Bless the Broken Road

This is an old song I really like.I wish someday,somehow I could sing this song to that special someone that I have been waiting for quite a long time.


I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

[ Chorus: ]
Every long lost dream
Lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart
They were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way
Into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you.

I think about the years I spent
just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost
and give it back to you
but you just smile and take my hand
You been there, you understand
It's all part of a grander plan
that is coming true.

[ Chorus ]

Now I'm just rolling home
into my lovers arms
this much i know is true
that God blessed the broken road
that led me straight to you

That god blessed the broken road
that led me straight to you

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

happy fiesta

May will be a very busy month.I am pretty loaded with a lot of things to do.Before the end of April (From the 26th until the 30th), me and some friends from the office might go to Sagada to unwind.I already filed my leave for that but I am still not certain if i will go.Gastos na naman eh.

Our townhall (annual gathering of employees in the company) will also be held sometime in May.The last time it was held in Araneta.This time, based on the result of the employee's poll, i think it will be in Enchanted Kingdom or in Fort Open field.The theme for this year I think will be school fair/battle of the bands.Last year's townhall was boring (Rockstar contest thingie) so i hope it will be a lot of fun this time.

Taralets barkada (PLM Friends) was also "drawing" an outing/get together on first week of May.The original plan was a two day beach outing at Puerto Galera.I doubt this will push thru,the last time we planned on this, we ended up in some private resort somewhere in Laguna.The last time I heard, it will just be a videoke/bowling session on one saturday night this May.

Next event will be the baptismal of sarah's daughter on may 5th.I could not miss that since she already told me that i will be the ninong.Then comes my brother's birthday.He does not really celebrate his birthday but it will be sort of family day for us.

Our team in the office was also planning to go to tali beach in batangas on may 11 to 12.This is the outing that I am really looking forward to.We have some newbies in the team that I wanted to get to know better.Also,I really really wanted to go to Tali beach.This is really a beautiful beach in Batangas.

After that will be my sister's birthday.

I dunno kung saan ko pa ipapasok yung plano ko na magaral ng short course on graphic Arts at magenrol sa Gym.Major goodluck talaga.


I will be moving out on my apartment by April 21st.matagal ko na rin naman itong plinano.There were series of unfortunate events kasi na nangyari that push me to finally move out.

Naglipat na rin kami from Bulacan to Valenzuela for practical reason.My mom and i will stay with my brother and his family.Ipaparent na lang 'yung bahay namin sa Bulacan.Maguuwian na naman ako.Parang angirap na magadjust kapag malayo ang bahay.haggard.Kailangan ko na bumili ng kotse.Wish ko lang.

Pero hindi ako worried sa pagcocomute.Worried ako dahil kasama ko na naman ang Kuya ko.I know were now in good terms pero mahirap talagang kalimutan 'yung mangyari noon.Naiisip at naalala ko pa rin siya.Sobrang hindi kasi kami magkasundo dati.Hindi kami noon pwede pagsamahin sa isang kuwarto dahil talagang magaaway kami.Sana nga ngayon maging peaceful na ang mga buhay namin.dapat lang, matatanda na kami para magaway.=)

Art's VisualDNA

I got this link from Joms.This one is cool .=)

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Summer 2007

I just wanted to share these pictures I took this March.I am really starting to get serious with photography.Too bad that it was just recently that I got my own digital camera.I am really hoping that I will have the chance to learn it professionally, y' know getting a photography course or go to an art school. I am really happy with how these pictures came out. =)

More on my photoblog site: flicker and multiply.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Indie Films

Buo ang aking paniniwala na ang mga "independent digital film" ang siyang buhay sa naghihingalong industriya ng pelikulang Pilipino.Natutuwa ako at nabigyan ako ng pagkakataon na mapanood ang mga pelikulang kagaya ng Pepot artista, Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros, Magnifico at iba pa.Ang mga pelikulang ito ay tunay na nagpapakita ng kahusayan ng ating mga kababayan sa pagawa ng de kalidad na pelikula.Nakalulungkot isipin na kailangan pang dalhin ng mga pelikulang ito sa ibang bansa para lamang mabigyan ng pansin.Ang mga parangal na hinakot nito ay tunay na nagpapakita ng galing ng mga Pilipino sa larangan ng film making.

Nababahala ako sa katotohanan na ang mga pelikulang tinatangkilik ng ating mga kababayan ay mga komersiyal na banyaga at mga lokal na pelikula na ang tanging ibenebenta ay mga mukha ng sikat na artista ngayon.Hindi ko maintindihan kung minsan ang mentalidad ng masang Pilipino.

Patuloy kong susubaybayan at susuportahan ang mga pelikulang Indie at ang mga gumagawa nito.Wala akong pakialam kung isa lamang ako sa kaunting nakakaappreciate nito.Wala rin akong pakiaalam na habang abala ang iba sa aking mga kaibigan sa panonood ng pelikula ni Angelina Jolie o Sam Milby ay magisa akong nanonood ng Pepot Artista sa isang sinehan na sampung katao lang yata ang laman.Ang mahalaga'y sa pamamagitan ng mga pelikulang ito ay nabusog ang aking isipan at kamalayan .

Narito ang ilan sa mga paborito kong digital independent films.

Directed by Clodualdo del Mundo Jr
Starring elijah castillo
Film angel

Jose Rizalino is a young boy with dreams of making it big as a star in the world of showbiz. His imaginative mind helps him to pursue his ambition. After a failed attempt to get a part in a movie, he gave up on his dreams but not his love and passion for films.

This film won Best Picture at the First Cinemalaya Film Competition. It defeated Auraeus Solito’s Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros. Pepot Artista must have struck a chord among film literate judges.

Film and showbiz references abound in this hilarious film. Generous film clips from the 1971 movie Guy and Pip were included in Pepot Artista. A kind couple operating carnival games are die-hard fans of the movie couple. A laugh out loud scene was when the couple sang “Maria Leonora Teresa” complete with a live doll. Tirso Cruz III appeared in a cameo role as a buyer of comics.

The names of students were references to showbiz personalities like film critic Nestor Torre, singer Celeste Legaspi, playwright Rolando Tinio, and director Marilou Diaz Abaya. One student , Jorge Lucas, was even named after director George Lucas. The name of Pepot’s sister is Vilma.

Pepot Artista paid loving homage to the Rosa Rosal film Biyaya ng Lupa. Pepot’s mother was a dancer featured in the 1959 film classic. The altar, with its lone occupant Blessed Virgin Mary, is prominently displayed during interior scenes. Pepot has a deaf and mute brother. Scenes of Pepot’s mother caressing the bamboo coin banks alternated with clips from the film classic Biyaya ng Lupa.

Elijah Castillo won a Best Actor Award at the Singapore Film Festival for his portrayal as Pepot. He is generally good but his crying scene is not well acted.

The excellent story deals with the aspirations of countless Filipinos to become movie stars. Star search contests, talent competitions and reality shows give hope to their dreams. Despite dozens of mestizas and mestizos joining such contests, some dusky skinned contestants even win in major contests like Mau Marcelo in “Philippine Idol.” Nora Aunor won in a national amateur singing contest before entering the world of movies.

***Napakahusay ng mga artista ng pelikulang ito lalo na yung batang gumanap na Pepot, si Elijah Castillo.

Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros (2005)
Directed By Auraeus Solito
Starring : Nathan Lopez
Review From

Although the main character is gay, this is not a gay film. The beauty of the film is that it does not make fun of the gay character. Maxi is well-loved and accepted by his family and the community.

There is plenty of humor but this light treatment of the story does not at all trivialize the message that the film wants to bring across to the audience. Scriptwriter Michiko Yamamoto who also wrote the award-winning "Magnifico" has improved her skill in storytelling and is not at all melodramatic this time. She has done away with subplots that don't move the main story much, a weakness of many Filipino scriptwriters who want to tell everything, including the entire history of the Philippines, in one movie. Her characters are all balanced – no one is all-evil or all-saint. The most touching scenes are those that show the tenderness of Maxi's tough-guy family to him. However, there are technical glitches that need to be fixed, and with digital technology editing may still be possible, e.g. scenes that are too dark or the screen going black for too long, making the oldies in the audience worry that perhaps the "lagarista" has been caught in traffic with the next roll of film. It is not often that Filipinos abroad get to see a rare gem like this film. Thanks to digital film-making and indie cinema and the film festivals in many countries.
***Patatawanin at pakikiligin kayo ni Maximo Oliveros.


Directed by Maryo J De Los Reyes

Starring Jiro Manio, Albert Martinez.

Review From: Showcomotion

Magnifico is nine-years-old; his family lives in a poor part of town and life is a constant struggle to make ends meet. Only Magnifico remains steadfast: selling juice to earn money to take his sister to the carnival, building a casket for his dying grandmother to ease the family's budget. As far as Magnifico is concerned, a little sensitivity and clever thinking are all that's needed to solve these problems. Before long, the boy's warm-heartedness leads to a miraculous denouement which enables both his family and friends to cope with the traumas of life and death.

The strength of the film lies in its powerfully moving honesty: the ending in particular packs a huge emotional punch. It's a simple, classic tale, masterfully told, and wonderfully acted by its lead protagonist. Best Feature Adult Jury & Best Feature Children's Jury, Berlin Kinderfilmfest 2004.

***Tearjerker.The very definition of sentimental overload.Pinaiyak ako ng pelikulang ito.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

What is your Perfect Major?

I tried this quiz from Charis.Magulo talaga utak ko.pare parehas ang score ko for theater,english,art,journalism and sociology.hehe.

You scored as Sociology. You should be a Sociology major!





























What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3)
created with

Monday, February 12, 2007

Kung Hei fat Choi!

Guilly's Island Tomas Morato

Some of my officemates

The Band

Let's party!

With Joei,EA and Banonay

CGE's Chinese New Year Celebration

February 04, 2007

More pics posted on my multiply site

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Let me hear a happy song

A while ago I was checking the songs on my MP3 playlist and I realized that it was loaded with a lot of depressing songs.I browsed the messages on my cellphone and I found out that half of it were messages filled with bitterness.On TV and on papers,even on some blogs I came across with , they tell a lot of sad stories.

I would have to agree to someone I know when he said that depression is a lifestyle.


I went back to work last night.

Namiss ko yung mga tao pero hindi yung trabaho.


Friday, February 02, 2007

Junkfoods and Kiddie stuff that I miss

Inspired by Charis' post about Marie biscuits so I am posting this.

Junkfoods and Kiddie stuff that I miss

Bazooka Bubble Gum

Pritos Ring

White rabbit

Iced Gems


Iba pa: Wala akong makitang pictures eh.

Serg's Chocolate

Expo peanuts

Haw haw candy



Cheese curls na may freebies like paper money at laruang lumalaki pag nilubog sa tubig.

Puto seko

Club House Cracker

Plastic baloon

Piknik Cheese curl

Kaunti lang yan.Hindi ako gaanong matakaw nung bata ako eh.